Planning and Preparation
You may not always have the opportunity to prepare for a conversation with a child but wherever possible you should take the opportunity to consider how you will engage with the child.
Barriers
We know there are many reasons why children don’t talk about sexual abuse (hyperlink to ‘What stops children telling’) including concerns about what will happen if they tell someone.
Ask yourself;
The Child’s Communication Needs
One of the key things that determines how a child communicates is their age and developmental trajectory; younger children naturally use far less verbal communication than teenagers, for example. However, children within the same age groups still communicate in a range of different ways, some due to preference, others due to language, cultural context and others are related to a difficulty or disability. Whatever the reason, it is really important that you understand how the child communicates and what their indiviudal communication needs and preferences are. Some things to consider when you are preparing to speak to a child are:
The child’s understanding of sexual abuse
Question: What does the child already know about sexual abuse?
In order for a child to report what is happening to them as wrong, they firstly need to understand this to be the case. Young children or those who have had limited input from adults and peers about sexual behaviour and development, may not know that what they are experiencing is abusive. Older children who are being sexually exploited outside of the family may also struggle to identify that what is happening to them is abusive. It is important therefore to understand what the child already knows about sex, healthy sexual relationships, sexual development, abuse, boundaries etc. This is not to imply that the abuse is their fault or their responbility, but to recognise the process of grooming and lack of education for some children about sexual boundaries.
Do you know whether there have been any opportunities for the child to learn about this in other settings, for example within school? If you believe they haven’t yet had this opportunity, consider the ways in which you can provide some education to them, perhaps as a pre-cursor for going on to explore any concerns you have.
Who will speak to the child?
If you have concerns about a child, then you are likely best placed to speak to the child about these concerns. There may be times when concerns need to be shared and your safeguarding policy will outline what happens in these situations. However, if you have noticed changes in the child’s behaviour or anything else that has given you cause for concern, it is important for you to speak to the child so they are aware it is you who has noticed things and can feel they have a shared experience with you. The child often chooses the person they feel safest with and again process should not influence who the child speaks to initially.
Recording
Your own professional field may provide specific guidance on how written recordings should be made; where possible we have tried to include links to this guidance in the relevent sections below.
It is important that you clearly record any concerns you have in as much detail as possible, including anything you have observed the child to do or say. This should not be limited to one specific time or incident as it is really important that your recording builds a picture of the context surrounding your concerns as well as the specific details (link to signs and indicators tool). Similarly, your recording does not have to be limited to things you know to be fact and can include your professional opinion in relation to what these facts may mean. Professionals often worry that you shouldn’t name your concerns about sexual abuse in written records without having clear evidence. However, whilst, there should be a clear distinction made between what is fact and what is opinion, your professional judgement is extremely important in building up a picture of what may be happening in the child’s life.
If the child has spoken to you, it is important that you record, as soon as possible, what the child has said in their own words. Sometimes there is a tendency for professionals to interpret what the child has said but this can be problematic. There may be times when the child has used ambiguous words or phrases and it is important to record exactly what the child has said. It may be that you know the child well and know what they mean by a particular word in this situation, you may record what you understand the word to be but you must always be clear about what the child actually said. As well as recording the verbal language the child has used, it is also helpful to note how the child presented, the non-verbal communication they used, and relevant notes about their body language.
You may not always have the opportunity to prepare for a conversation with a child but wherever possible you should take the opportunity to consider how you will engage with the child.
Barriers
We know there are many reasons why children don’t talk about sexual abuse (hyperlink to ‘What stops children telling’) including concerns about what will happen if they tell someone.
Ask yourself;
- What might be stopping this child telling me that is going on?
- What might this child be worried about telling me?
- What can I do to overcome these barriers?
The Child’s Communication Needs
One of the key things that determines how a child communicates is their age and developmental trajectory; younger children naturally use far less verbal communication than teenagers, for example. However, children within the same age groups still communicate in a range of different ways, some due to preference, others due to language, cultural context and others are related to a difficulty or disability. Whatever the reason, it is really important that you understand how the child communicates and what their indiviudal communication needs and preferences are. Some things to consider when you are preparing to speak to a child are:
- Does the child use spoken language?
- Is the child’s first language English? If not, what is the child’s first language? Does the child use any other languages? Do they prefer to communicate about personal or complex issues in their first language?
- If their first language is not English, who else in the child’s life uses this language? Anyone outside the family?
- If the child does not use spoken language, what is the reason for this and have they every used spoken language?
- If the child does not use spoken language, what form of communication do they use including do they use any form of sign language or technology assisted communication processes and if so, is this widely used (e.g. BSL or Makaton) or is this developed by the child or their family?
- Who around the child can understand their method of communication and what form of facilitation is available?
- Does the child have a Speech and Language Therapist who can support them/you with understanding communication?
The child’s understanding of sexual abuse
Question: What does the child already know about sexual abuse?
In order for a child to report what is happening to them as wrong, they firstly need to understand this to be the case. Young children or those who have had limited input from adults and peers about sexual behaviour and development, may not know that what they are experiencing is abusive. Older children who are being sexually exploited outside of the family may also struggle to identify that what is happening to them is abusive. It is important therefore to understand what the child already knows about sex, healthy sexual relationships, sexual development, abuse, boundaries etc. This is not to imply that the abuse is their fault or their responbility, but to recognise the process of grooming and lack of education for some children about sexual boundaries.
Do you know whether there have been any opportunities for the child to learn about this in other settings, for example within school? If you believe they haven’t yet had this opportunity, consider the ways in which you can provide some education to them, perhaps as a pre-cursor for going on to explore any concerns you have.
Who will speak to the child?
If you have concerns about a child, then you are likely best placed to speak to the child about these concerns. There may be times when concerns need to be shared and your safeguarding policy will outline what happens in these situations. However, if you have noticed changes in the child’s behaviour or anything else that has given you cause for concern, it is important for you to speak to the child so they are aware it is you who has noticed things and can feel they have a shared experience with you. The child often chooses the person they feel safest with and again process should not influence who the child speaks to initially.
Recording
Your own professional field may provide specific guidance on how written recordings should be made; where possible we have tried to include links to this guidance in the relevent sections below.
It is important that you clearly record any concerns you have in as much detail as possible, including anything you have observed the child to do or say. This should not be limited to one specific time or incident as it is really important that your recording builds a picture of the context surrounding your concerns as well as the specific details (link to signs and indicators tool). Similarly, your recording does not have to be limited to things you know to be fact and can include your professional opinion in relation to what these facts may mean. Professionals often worry that you shouldn’t name your concerns about sexual abuse in written records without having clear evidence. However, whilst, there should be a clear distinction made between what is fact and what is opinion, your professional judgement is extremely important in building up a picture of what may be happening in the child’s life.
If the child has spoken to you, it is important that you record, as soon as possible, what the child has said in their own words. Sometimes there is a tendency for professionals to interpret what the child has said but this can be problematic. There may be times when the child has used ambiguous words or phrases and it is important to record exactly what the child has said. It may be that you know the child well and know what they mean by a particular word in this situation, you may record what you understand the word to be but you must always be clear about what the child actually said. As well as recording the verbal language the child has used, it is also helpful to note how the child presented, the non-verbal communication they used, and relevant notes about their body language.
Reflection point
What does your agency do to educate the children who use your service or attend your setting about child sexual abuse?
For schools or residential settings - Is there a whole-school approach? Is information about sexuality and sexual development taught in classrooms, the school environment, in the ethos of the school and in the ways in which the school engages with the community?
What could you introduce
Reflection point
A social worker and police officer spoke to a child who had said that their dad had abused them; she said “ he put his thing in me” and the records said that the father put his penis in the child’s vagina. Later on the child reiterated what she had said and this was seen to be contradictory to what had been originally recorded.