14 - 15

14 - 15 Years

As young people develop through adolescence there may be cause to ask more direct questions about specific concerns, for example self-harm or drug and alcohol use. It is usefully helpful to start with more open questions (link to 6-9 years) but there are occasions when you might want to ask more direct questions. For example, if the young person has displayed harmful sexual behaviour themselves you may want to ask questions such as;

I’ve noticed you doing X, some people have different words for this, I wonder what you call it?
I’ve noticed you doing X, I am interested in whether you have seen this somewhere?
I noticed you doing X, I am interested to know if you want to tell me anything about that?
I have noticed you doing X, I am interested to know if you have heard about this anywhere?

You may have noticed that the child is harming themselves and, in this situation, you may want to ask more direct questions about the reasons for this. How you approach this will depend on the context for the young person, but you may want to use comments or questions such as;

I notice you hurting yourself….
I notice you hurting yourself, I care about you and don’t want you to be hurt
I notice you have hurt yourself, do you want to tell me a bit more about that?
How does it feel to you?
Have you seen anyone else do this?
Has anything happened that has made you feel that you want to hurt yourself?

Example

Link to NSPCC ‘Talk to Me’ Tool